Sisters Bakhshi and their Towering Patriarch

The only reason this article has been long in the making is that I wanted it to become the first one I wrote for the website of the company that I was planning to set up and that took a while. In June this year, at the Navy veterans’ get-together, I met three remarkable women. Siblings all, they have amazing past and present which is rooted in the Navy and tells a wonderful story. I had heard of the Bakhshi sisters, here and there, from quite some time ago, but putting the pieces together was a heart-warming endeavour in itself and, ever since I did that a few years ago, I have always wanted to meet and interact with them together. Despite the naval connection that all of them, and I have, the meeting never happened until this May. 

But first things first. Let’s go to the patriarch, the legendary Lieutenant Commander VP Bakhshi. Considered one of the pioneers of the Indian Navy’s diving branch, Lt Cdr Bakhshi joined the then Royal Indian Navy (RIN) as a boy in 1945 as World War 2 was winding down to a close. His family witnessed the trauma of Partition and migrated from Basali, near Rawalpindi and settled down at Jhansi. Just around this time, the 17-year young man was sent, along with four other select personnel, to UK for training to be the country’s first set of naval divers. These folks subsequently set up the Indian Navy’s diving school in Kochi while also responding to numerous exigencies, around the country, that needed diving assistance. Often these situations involved humanitarian assistance, disaster relief, ‘fishing out bodies’ from disaster sites, underwater repairs of dams and bridges and searching for gold or other smuggled material dumped into the sea. All in all, it could be described as a busy, eventful catalogue. 

For example, in Dec 1957, Bakhshi was involved in the recovery of a rich haul of gold bars (worth Rs 40 lakh in those days or around Rs 57 crore today) deposited by Arab dhows into the sea, off Calicut. He led the operation due to the indisposition of Lt WG Knapp (Royal Navy), the then OIC Diving School. Few years later, in May 1961, he was involved, as part of a four-man team, in the successful repair of dam gates of Rihand dam in Sonbhadra district of UP. Diving was undertaken to a depth of 162 feet in very trying conditions in the late evening, amidst heavy rains and low visibility. This daring act averted the submerging of nearby villages and, fittingly, Bakhshi was awarded the Nao Sena Medal (Gallantry) on Republic Day the following year, 1962.  More good news followed, a couple of years later, in 1964, when he was commissioned as an Officer in the Special Duty Diving cadre. The bulk of his career was spent in Diving School or CCDT Mumbai (including during the 1971 war).

After a long, rich and eventful professional journey of 41 years, VP Bakhshi retired in 1986 having mentored a whole generation of divers, who, in turn, went on to not only achieve greater heights but also pioneered the formation of Marine Commandos or MARCOS. He passed away in Jan 2019 leaving behind a rich legacy and remembered for being a brave and pioneering sailor. Cdr George Duke, a distinguished diver himself describes Bakhshi as a ‘great and towering personality’ while Cdr Vijai Kapil, VrC, and a gallant of the 1971 war, calls Bakhshi a ‘pillar of diving branch’. Cmde Vimal Kumar, another distinguished driver, refers to him as ‘Guruji’. Divers are a close-knit bunch and almost everyone in that branch, of a particular era, reminisces about his mentoring and how they were “truly honoured to have had that privilege”.

It is Cdr RK Sharma, another diver who spent many years associated with VP Bakhshi who gives an all-round perspective. Sharma highlights that the key fact about Bakhshi was his long association with the branch – an unprecedented one of 41 years which made him a knowledge storehouse about the branch. He had the institutional memory. Sharma saw him as an instructor when he became a CDO in 1973 and on and off until Bakhshi was his deputy from 1983 to ‘86 in CCDT Mumbai. He too echoes the sentiment of Bakhshi being a pioneer but states that he did much more and highlights some key issues. He mentions that despite Bakhshi being 14 years or so elder to him, he had no ego and operated in close collaboration with Sharma. The three areas they worked closely were, “firstly doing certain amount of thinking and research about diving – on how best to modernise and optimise diving operations, second in rationalising and streamlining stores procurement which resulted in saving huge amount of money to government, and third on indigenisation of diving equipment and looking for Indian made alternatives. All these would not have been possible without Bakshi’s tremendous knowledge and memory about diving branch, people and equipment” (Telephonic conversation with Cdr RK Sharma).

But there was another place where his legacy was equally memorable and that was on the personal front. In 1958 Bakhshi got married to Urmila, who was, from all accounts, a feisty person. She was, apparently, the only lady who used to drive a Lambretta scooter in the naval areas at Cochin and Colaba in the 60s and 70s. The couple had five children. His elder son Vinod joined the Merchant Navy and the younger one Vijay became a professional deep-sea diver. And, in a rare but remarkable development, his three daughters Kunj, Nishi and Meena – the subject of our article - deepened the maritime connection by marrying naval officers. Naturally, being in the Navy, I came to know their spouses first and being a glutton for naval trivia, I learnt about the sisters only after that.

Sisters with parents Lt Cdr Bakhshi and Mrs Urmila Bakhshi

All the three officers are senior to me and I cannot claim friendship with any but in different ways, I developed a certain acquaintance with all of them. The elder sibling Kunj was married to the late Commander Shamsher Singh Bali. By a nice coincidence, then Lt SS Bali was the Registrar in my school viz. Sainik School Bijapur from 1986 to 88 or so. As my father taught in the school, we stayed in the School Campus and on every occasion when I was on leave and went home, I met Bali sir. He was there when I was commissioned and during my early years in the Navy. We would meet in his office for coffee or he would often call me home for a drink and hold forth when we sat in his veranda or lawns. Bali was a bit non-conformist and held unconventional views but he did not let that affect his advice to a young man starting out in the service. He was invariably encouraging and goading me to do well and stay focused. We met sometimes in later years and he was always warm and hearty in his embrace. I was very sad to hear of his passing. I met Kunj ma’am occasionally then, she doesn’t remember it now and naturally so. She was petite, soft spoken and kept to herself. I don’t know if she much enjoyed the social set up in the campus or Bijapur. We did not meet later until recently but she continues to be reserved and reticent even now. 

Nishi, the second daughter, married Commodore Ramesh Kumar with whom I got acquainted a few years later as fellow Long C officer. Ramesh sir was the Fleet EW officer and, later, Fleet Communication Officer, during the time I did my Fleet ship tenures. This naturally leads to close relationships, especially as the Fleet Staff used to embark our ship for deployments. Later in his career, he commanded INS Agnibahu (K 22), INS Angre and he was also Director MWC. So, there were always occasions to meet briefly, exchange notes and talk shop. He was a highly regarded professional and many of our chats were work related in that sense but also wide ranging and interesting. I believe he too regarded me well. I, however, met Nishi only a few months ago. We share common interests in maritime history and for a self-anointed maritime evangelist, it is always good to have more people join the flock. 

The youngest daughter Meena is married to Captain Raj Dutta. He is a recent acquaintance; someone I met around 2019 or so, but it is difficult for anyone to dislike him. Immensely popular and dynamic, he is a jack of many trades – career aviator, blogger, history keeper, Secretary of Navy Foundation Mumbai Chapter (NFMC) and an indefatigable organiser. Meena too is a popular person on the NFMC circuit, our unofficial photo and videographer, and a cheery presence. 

But their identities while inextricably linked to the Navy are not limited to their father and husbands. The sisters Bakhshi have carved their own niche. Kunj was the athletic sort as a young person who represented the Kendriya Vidyalaya (KV) in sports and, according to some accounts, participated right up to the Sangathan level. After attaining graduate and post graduate degrees in education she later made a career in teaching in KVs. She retired in 2022 after teaching for 30 plus years and mentoring/guiding many generations of students in their formative years. Nishi too went into academia, transitioning from teaching in Navy Children Schools (NCS) in Mumbai and Visakhapatnam to St Xaviers College of Education, Mumbai, where she spent nearly two decades and rose to become an Assistant Professor. A double masters in English literature and Education, she retired two months ago. Apart from teaching and mentoring, she has written many papers/made presentations on topics such as on teaching methodology, role of teachers, trends in education, examination reforms and such like. In recent years, she has taken up Golf with gusto and won many prizes already. And maritime history and maritime issues are a recent interest where she is also mentoring her students to be more curious about matters Oceanic. 

The Sisters Bakhshi (L to R): Kunj, Nishi and Meena

The youngest, Meena, also has a teaching experience of 15 years in KVs, NCS and Lakshmipat Singhania Academy, Kolkata. She is also a ‘Matrubhumi Bhushan Samman’ Awardee by Hindi Sahitya Akademi. Interestingly, she is passionate about sports having played basketball as a teenager and later developed interests in parasailing, waterskiing, car rallying and, above all, swimming. In 2013, she won 2 silver medals in the Masters National Swimming championships at Rajkot. There is a memorable and revealing anecdote when she had applied for the post of Ladies’ Swimming instructor in ENC, Vizag, in 1996 and was interviewed by the panel. All the members questioned her on various aspects of swimming and life-saving, but when it was the turn of Commander Tugnait, the Command Clearance Diving Officer (CCDO) to question her, all he said was, “What can you ever ask the daughter of the senior-most Diver of Indian Navy”. 

As may be seen, the sisters Bakhshi, while being different and individual in many ways, have a strong background in teaching/academia and sports. Unsurprisingly, all of them were very good swimmers who won medals in school and college in this discipline. Coincidentally, all of them studied at KV 1, Navy Nagar and KC College, Mumbai. From all accounts, they seem to have imbibed many qualities from both their parents. They also have, in a sense, made a mark across the naval community contributing to its many formal activities and informal interactions. But, ultimately, what does their story represent? Is it one more statistic, cute trivia or a question for a fireside quiz? Or does it tell us something more? If, like me, you believe that social self-consciousness is necessary in studying our world in different ways and frequently tilt at windmills in doing sociological analysis of the navy, howsoever informal or even pop, you may wonder what makes three siblings marry within the same community? Is it merely the fact that their father was a legend in that community? Or is it something more?

To tarry a bit, at this point I am reminded of what one of the senior statesmen of Karnataka had said many years ago. It was the late SR Kanthi and he had apparently mentioned this when the question of establishing a Sainik School for girls in Kittur, near Belgaum, came up. Having been instrumental in setting up the Sainik School for boys in 1963 in Bijapur (my alma mater), Kanthi, the then Education minister for Karnataka, established a similar school for girls in 1967. Conscious of the fact that the State contributed relatively lesser number of people to Armed Forces, Kanthi reasoned that this situation could change if women – as mothers, wives, sisters, friends – were to become more receptive to the idea. An exclusive Sainik School for girls would expose girls to military tradition, apart from preparing them to be accomplished and self-reliant. 

Of course, the situation has changed dramatically today. Sainik Schools have girl cadets now, NDA has girls graduating from its portals, and the Armed Forces have many more women in their ranks, with some rising to higher echelons. Even so, the numbers are still less and, thus, illustrate the crux of the issue more than 40 years ago. At that time the Armed Forces were almost exclusively a male preserve and, due to lack of awareness in society, its personnel were not necessarily considered good ‘marriage prospects’ in many parts of the country. 

Thus, when three sisters decide to tie the knot with beaus in the Navy, it is probably not a coincidence or chance occurrence. While life in the Navy does have its charms and attractions, it is characterised by a lot of upheaval. Husbands are frequently away at sea, accommodation is at premium and often not available, work hours are long and hard, upward mobility is not guaranteed, promotions take long and are scarce, frequent transfers and disruption the norm and schooling for children a perennial concern. Thus, when three women who know the life and have experienced it as children, choose to marry within the community again, they are actually voting with their feet. It implies that they cherish the values and culture of Navy more than its perceived disadvantages. It is not merely affirmation but a big endorsement of the Navy. Sisters Bakhshi are, in some ways, the best advertisement of and for the Navy. 

While this thought had persisted with me for long, I had no occasion to meet all of them together. Thus, when I saw all of them at the Navy veterans meet in June this year, I immediately thought this was a ‘historical occasion’. Or, at the very least, it will be a rare photo opportunity. While tempted to tweet about it almost immediately, I reflected that the photo sends a message that had greater salience than the immediate thrill of the moment. Its significance was for what it represented and said about our service. And thus, it was perfect to be recollected for Navy Day. Sisters Bakhshi and their families’ connection to the Navy and Maritime world spanning at least two generations is a remarkable testimony in a country where many are still indifferent to the Oceans and Seas. ‘Guruji ki Betiyaan’ have not only done their towering patriarch proud but also carved their own unique story in the sands of time. 

Bakhshi Sisters with author Cmde Srikant Kesnur (Retd)

Tail Piece.  When I set out writing this piece, it seemed to me that three sisters marrying three naval officers are a rare occurrence. As though sensing what I am writing, some strange power has brought to my notice two more instances of the same. The Nag sisters – Bani, Kalyani and Nandini – daughters of Col DC Nag married three naval officers. Their brother Cdr HK Nag too served in the Navy. Nandini aka Nanoo’s hubby was the late Vice Admiral Subimal Mukherjee, who retired as FOCinC WNC in the mid-80s. If this was much before the Bakhshi sisters, there is another set of siblings of more recent vintage. The Tiwari sisters – Sulekha, Manisha and Nimisha – all daughters of a naval officer – are married to naval officers, all three of whom are submariners. The spouses too are fauji children. Fascinating as it is, I believe this only illustrates the point of my article. It is possible that after this piece gets published many more such instances or different ones of relatives and siblings serving in the Navy/Armed Forces will come to light. Hopefully, that will provide us material for more on this subject.

P.S. 1 – I am immensely grateful to the blog and article by Capt Raj Dutta which gives much information about the Bakhshi family. That was further supplemented by talking to Mrs Nishi and a few other friends. Photographs of the family courtesy Mrs Meena Dutta. Thanks to all of them.

P.S. 2 - Incidentally, the sisters have two cousins who served in the Army - Col Sunny Bakhshi and Col Hunny Bakhshi, both veterans. Many of you will recognise the latter as the legendary spook.